


Melting

by elfkinwoods



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Multi, Mutual Pining, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfkinwoods/pseuds/elfkinwoods
Summary: It is a harsh, bitter winter. Everyone is already tired of the ongoing war. Merlin feels useless, because his magic is not working properly, because he can't actually fight in the war, and most importantly, because Arthur Pendragon is so far away and possibly dying.Merlin fears Arthur will never know how much he cares, but in the end when everything is done and settled, Arthur comes back to him. Will this be the time?





	Melting

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my Forest, who is now ill and probably needs something fluffy. The original plan was a Snape/Olaf fanfic but that is too much for any normal human reader. 
> 
> This turned out to be more angsty than I intended.

Pure agony, as it turned out, could not have prevented him from doing this stupid. And in the end, Arthur was right – there was no soft words or hard-earned praise, nothing but humiliation and pain, and Merlin deserved it well, because he was the one that had brought it all upon himself, and because he was, as Arthur so precisely put it, a massive idiot.

 

Monday mornings began as usual grey and gloomy, and cold coffee with a half-finished cold sandwich made it even worse. Merlin felt very much like sobbing when Edwin popped out of nowhere, asking him why the hell Gwaine was not here yet.

 

‘Come on, Ed, he’s _Gwaine_. What do you expect?’ Merlin said, knocking over a bunch of letters by accident. Edwin sighed.

 

‘I don’t even know why we keep you here, Merlin. You’re literally the worst we’ve ever had.’

 

‘To be honest, neither do I.’ said Merlin, trying to pick up the letters without dropping more on the ground. ‘I’m shit.’

 

‘Stop verbally abusing yourself, Merlin. You are amazing.’ Morgana walked in at that moment, looking as ever as if she was going to a ball. ‘Honestly, Gaius and the boys would’ve been lost without you. Is that from Arthur?’ She picked up a letter from the ground and handed it over to Merlin. ‘It’s for you. He always writes to you instead of his dear, caring sister. How very heart-breaking. I’d say he’s in love with you, if I didn’t know better.’

 

Merlin blushed a little and tucked Arthur’s letter into his pocket, his heart giving a sudden twist, reminding him of the sad, pathetic fact that he was still, uncontrollably, in love with his best friend. His best friend, Arthur, who had Gwen with him already, both far away from him in Camelot in the heart of the war. He had regretted his choice to stay behind and work for the hospital ever since he realised it meant he would have to be separated from Arthur, waking up every morning without knowing whether he was still alive. He wanted to be there, with Arthur, protecting him in every possible way. But Gaius needed him here; his healing magic would mean a lot less suffering and death. They were running short of doctors already, and though Merlin never actually finished his medical degree and his magic was still a bit unstable, they still needed him desperately as they needed every single hand that could help. Besides, he would be useless in battle. He would be a burden to Arthur anyway, unlike Gwen, who was strong, decisive, and always clear-headed. She would make a perfect companion for Arthur, who could worry a little too much sometimes, and needed sensible advice. It was all very necessary in wartime. Everyone should be in their place, and Merlin’s place was with the hospital.

 

He still remembered the moment when he first heard that Arthur was going to the front. Gwen told him. ‘Why?’ he exclaimed, even if he knew perfectly well why. ‘He’s not even magical, and he will be fighting his own father if he goes there!’

 

‘I think you know why, Merlin. But Arthur said he knew you’d be like this. That’s why he didn’t want to tell you himself.’ Gwen patted him on the shoulder. ‘It’s not just about magical people, remember? We’re fighting for what is right. I’m going with him. We leave next Thursday.’

 

‘Wait, what? Not you too, Gwen?’ moaned Merlin, even if he had definitely seen this coming the second Gwen walked into the room. ‘Thursday? Where are you heading off to?’

 

‘Camelot.’ Gwen was smiling, proud and confident as she always had been.

 

Merlin’s heart sank for a bit. Of course. The arrogant, clueless dollop-head would _of course_ go nowhere else than the centre of the entire war. No, nothing second-class for Arthur Bloody Pendragon. Even if he was going to fight in an ugly war he would have the best place reserved.

 

His overpowering imagination was already picturing Arthur lying in blood somewhere bleak and smelling of death. He forced that image out of his head and tried to feel proud for Arthur, but most quarters in his heart were filled with crippling fear that Arthur might actually die this time, after all the stupid assassins they had come across.

 

‘It’s not like I’m against you guys going.’ He managed to squeeze out a few words out of his emotionally overloaded head. ‘If anyone should be going, it’s me.’

 

‘Don’t say that, Merlin. You know Gaius needs you.’ Gwen sounded sincere, but he traced a bit of irony in the whole situation. ‘Arthur and I are going to need you too.’

 

_‘Arthur and I’_ , flowing out so naturally. Merlin felt he might as well die of burning shame at that moment for being jealous. Luckily, Gwen didn’t notice any change in his countenance.

 

‘Thursday, right?’ he managed a bitter-looking smile. ‘I’ll see you off at the train station.’

 

‘That’s so sweet of you, but it wouldn’t be necessary. They’re sending us there by helicopter. We leave before dawn at the military base, and that’s an extra thirty miles for you.’ Gwen hugged him, before standing up to leave.

 

‘Ah, all right, um, good luck with everything.’ Merlin honestly wished he could evaporate. ‘Tell Arthur that I…well, tell Arthur I say good luck.’

 

‘Thank you, I will.’ She kissed him on the cheek and left, looking ready to join in the fighting at any moment.

 

‘Be safe, both of you.’ he wanted to add, but Gwen was already gone.


End file.
